New York, New Adventures
by RockinJ'RodeoRebel
Summary: Shelby has another secret she's been keeping from Rachel, and once this secret comes to light, their lives will change dramatically. Can Shelby and Rachel ever get the mother-daughter relationship they long for?
1. Chapter 1

**Alright, I know I shouldn't be starting another one of these since I never seem to update, and I have no time. But this plot has been stuck in my head since before this season began. I haven't watched every episode of Glee, and its been years since I've seen any of the first season, so I have no clue how accurate this will be. In this, Shelby did make it on Broadway and has a very successful career. The timeline will sort of match up with what has happened this season, but since I've been sitting on this idea for so long, not all of it fits with what is happening now. My timeline will be odd most likely, let's just say this starts mid March 2014. **

**I don't own Glee or anything else recognizable. **

"Rachel, I know it's late, but please, give me a call when you get this. I'll be up." She pressed end call and groaned into the pillow sitting on the couch. "I've really messed this up! My oldest daughter is going to hate me. Why didn't I call her sooner, or just never have pushed her away from me. This would never be happening. Or I could have just torn up that damn contract nineteen years ago. Stupid me for listening to Will say Rachel didn't need a mom. I've been a terrible mother and an awful person. I should've called her as soon as I heard about Finn." Shelby ranted. She heard shuffling coming from the hallway and turned. "Bethie, what are you doing up?" Beth ran the rest of the way to the couch and jumped into her mother's arms.

"I can't sleep Mommy. I miss my old room" The four year old rubbed her eyes and cuddled into Shelby's arms. "And I'm too excited. When is Sissy gonna get here?"

Shelby laughed. "Sissy won't be here until tomorrow afternoon. And if you stay up all night, when she gets here, you'll be too tired to do anything with her. How about we get you a glass of milk and then tuck you back into bed?"

Beth nodded and slid back to the floor. "Ok Mommy, but if she gets here early you'll get me?" Shelby laughed as she stood.

"Yes Bethie, I'll get you, but her plane doesn't even leave until morning." Shelby reached down and lifted Beth off the ground. "Now, let's get you some chocolate milk and get you back into your new bed."

Beth yawned. "And when I wake up Sissy and Grama will almost be here?"

Shelby smiled. Less than twenty four hours and all three of her girls will be in the same city. "Yes Beth they will be."

"Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade!" Rachel belted the last notes to her favorite song in Funny Girl.

"Better. Next time, really make sure that you have enough air to make it through the entire phrase easily. Okay everyone, that's enough for tonight! I'll see you all bright and early tomorrow! Come prepared to block Act I," the director, Rupert, said as he stood and grabbed his coat from the back of his chair.

Rachel nodded and then turned toward the green room to grab her purse and coat. She turned to one of the ensemble members who stayed for the rehearsal, "I am so ready for these late night rehearsals to be over. Being up late for the show is one thing, but for rehearsals? And what happened to taking breaks? I barely had time to grab a drink of water." The girls laughed, and Rachel picked up her phone. "Why on earth has Shelby called me twenty seven times in the last six hours?" She began to worry that something bad had happened. Why else would Shelby need to get ahold of Rachel so badly? Usually she'd just send Rachel a Facebook message when she needed to say something.

The girl looked down at Rachel's phone, "Why on earth is Shelby Corcoran calling you at all? You are so lucky; she's like a Broadway legend! I wish she'd call me!" Rachel rolled her eyes and stuck her phone into her coat pocket.

"It's a long story. I don't think I'd call it luck, but think what you will. I haven't heard from her since before my audition for Funny Girl anyway. I need to go. And apparently I need to call Shelby back. See you tomorrow." Rachel grabbed her purse and slung it over her shoulder as she turned away and walked out of the room leaving her cast mate standing confused and speechless. As she pulled out her phone to call Shelby back, it began to ring. Poker Face was playing, Shelby's ringtone. Rachel gulped and hit answer. "Shelby? What's going on? What's wrong?" Rachel braced herself for the worst.

"Rachel? Oh thank God, I was so worried about you! I know you're probably really busy. I remember the late nights of workshop for Wicked and Rent. I know, I know, I shouldn't have worried, but I've been trying to get ahold of you for hours. Don't they give you breaks? Gosh, I'm so stupid, I'm so sorry Rachel. I shouldn't be freaking out like this…"

"Shelby!" Rachel practically yelled into the phone. "What's going on? What's wrong?"

Shelby stopped in her tracks. "Wha? Huh? Nothing's wrong. I hope not at least."

"You were rambling. And you really have me freaked out too. What's so important that you're calling me so late? Not that it bothers me too much, but really, couldn't you have called me at normal hours?"

"Ugh, Rachel, I'm sorry. I'm terrible at this. I should've called you months ago. Please don't be mad at me. I'm no good at this. Maybe I should just call you back in the morning when we are both more awake."

"No, Shelby. Please tell me what's going on. If you don't I'll just come over to your apartment right now and make you tell me. You're just putting this off. What's got you so scared? I'll try my best not to be too mad at you. Haven't we gotten past this?"

Shelby closed her eyes and took a deep breath. 'Come on Shelby, you've got this, it's just your daughter that you stupidly gave up three times who could very well hate you after tomorrow' she thought to herself. "Rachel, there are some things that I haven't been completely honest with you about, and I want to fix that. And I just want to see you and talk to you. I want to make things right. Please Rach?"

"This isn't just another way of you putting this off Shelby?"

"No, I need to talk to you face to face. I'm not gonna lie Rach, I've really screwed up, and I'm sorry. Please Sweetie, I need to do this."

Rachel sensed the dark tone and fear in Shelby's voice and slightly cringed. She wasn't sure what this was all about, but if Shelby was scared enough to allow her walls to come down even just a little, it had to be big. Rachel took a deep breath. "When?"

Rachel could hear Shelby breathe a sigh of relief. "What sort of classes do you have tomorrow? I was thinking about taking you to the little coffee shop across the street from NYADA. It's kind of a hole in the wall kind of shop, we'd have complete privacy. I go there all the time."

"Tomorrow's my light day; I have a dance class with Ms. July at eight and then a vocal class with a TA until eleven. After that, I'm free until rehearsals at five."

"Gosh, they are working you some really odd hours. Maybe I should have a talk with your director about his methods. How does eleven thirty sound? The coffee shop has a great vegan menu for lunch too, it's on me. I owe it to you." Shelby crossed her fingers and hoped she hadn't scared her daughter away. This was important.

"Shelby, relax, I've gotten over our messed up history. Mostly, I think. Eleven thirty sounds great. But what is this place you want to go to? I don't usually eat out anywhere near NYADA. I used to get takeout with Kurt and Santana in Bushwick, but now that I live with Elliott..."

"You moved out of your apartment, and you're living with a boy?!" Shelby interrupted her daughter "Rachel we really need to have a talk. Do your fathers know?" Rachel rolled her eyes and looked up to realize that she was almost home. She wasn't even paying attention to where she was going, and luckily the streets weren't very busy.

"Yes, my fathers know, and trust me, nothing is going on. It's a long story. Can't I just tell you tomorrow? I can take care of myself you know. Now where am I going tomorrow?" Rachel snapped.

Shelby choked on her words, stung by the reminder that she was Rachel's mother not her mom. "Oh um yea, ok, it's right outside the west doors and across the street. It's called Daily Grind, you can't miss it."

Rachel reached out and unlocked the front door then replied, "Ok, well, I'll see you tomorrow, I need to get some sleep. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Rachel."

Four hundred and forty five miles away, just outside of Akron, Ohio, thirteen year old Melanie Corcoran was lying in bed awake worrying about all the changes that were going to take place in her life, starting with moving to New York City and living with her mother. It was the last place she wanted to be, but with her grandfather sick and her grandmother being so busy taking care of him, she had no other choice. She sighed and looked over at the last of her packed bags. The rest of her things had already been sent to her mother's new home in Park Slope. "Well, here's to a new adventure," she whispered to herself.

**Tell me what you think. It has been so long since I've written anything at all creative. College has really put a damper on my free time to be creative. I'll do my best to stick with this one. I really like where I think it is going. Suggestions welcome for a more creative title! **


	2. Chapter 2

**So I realized I made a mistake in the first chapter, Melanie is fourteen not thirteen. I'm honestly surprised that I finished another chapter so soon. My goal is updating every two weeks, but with school, life seems to get hectic and busy fairly sporadically, and I apologize in advance if there are huge gaps between updates. Thanks so much for all the reviews, follows, and favorites! **

**I don't own Glee or anything else recognizable. **

Rachel had never been so happy to get out of classes. After her late night the night before, she was already tired, and Ms. July had made Rachel dance harder than usual. Her vocal lessons were exhausting as well, and to top it all off, she spent the whole morning worrying about why Shelby needed to talk to her so urgently. Rachel smiled when she saw Shelby's Range Rover parked almost directly in front of the coffee shop they agreed to meet at. "Well, here goes nothing." Rachel took a deep breath and walked in. There was no going back now. She was taking another step in her mother's, hopefully soon her mom's, direction. She immediately spotted Shelby sitting at a table in the back corner. Her head as down, her hair was tied back sloppily, and she was wearing sunglasses. Rachel figured that her mother must've had a rough night. It probably didn't help that she caused part of it by not answering any of the missed calls. From now on, she'd make sure to check her phone a little more often.

Shelby looked up and smiled when she saw Rachel. She then winced, and put her hand to her head. She slowly stood, removed her sunglasses, and opened her arms as Rachel walked toward her. "Thanks for meeting me on such short notice Rach."

Rachel smiled and closed the distance between them. The feeling of being in her mother's arms was a feeling she always hoped for, but never truly expected. "Shelby, are you hung over?" Rachel giggled and whispered into her ear.

Shelby pulled away and smiled sheepishly, "just a little bit. I may have had a glass or two too many. It was a stressful night."

Now it was Rachel's turn to look guilty. "Sorry about that."

Shelby shook her head and pulled Rachel closer to her. "No. It's not at all your fault. I should've called you so much sooner. Months ago actually. I should've called you right after your fathers called me and told me about Finn. I'm so sorry Sweetie."

Rachel felt a tear escape and clung tighter to her mother. "Even just hearing you say that about kills me. It still hurts so much Shelby. I was supposed to make it big here, win more Tony Awards than you, and then move back to Lima to marry him."

Shelby ran her hand through Rachel's hair and softly smiled. It was bittersweet, holding her daughter like this was a dream, but the harsh reality of Rachel losing her high school sweetheart was breaking Shelby's heart. "Shh, Baby, it's ok to cry, it's ok to miss him."

Rachel pushed herself away from Shelby just a bit, but immediately missed the contact and comfort only a mother could give. She wiped away the few tears she had allowed and gave Shelby a sad smile. "But, I can't stop living. He wouldn't want that. Let's get some lunch, and then you can tell me what's going on with you. Really, Shelby Corcoran, hung over?" Rachel decided to take a risk, and instead of breaking all physical contact, she reached for Shelby's hand and began pulling her toward the growing line in the shop.

Shelby was surprised to say the least. Surprised about the fact that her daughter initiated physical contact, yes, but more than that, she was surprised at how quickly Rachel had bounced back onto the subject of last night's call. She had hoped that they could talk about Rachel's life a bit before getting into another entry on the long list of why Shelby Corcoran was not cut out to be a parent. "It's a long story, but before we get into that, I want to hear about you. How's Funny Girl going? When do previews start? Congratulations by the way, I knew you'd get the part. They couldn't say no to you." Shelby smiled when she saw her daughter's face light up.

"I couldn't've done it without your help. I think that if I would have used Barbara for my audition, Rupert would have sent me packing before I even got a full phrase in!"

"What did you end up singing? You never told me."

"Don't Stop Believing." Rachel looked around the shop and really paid attention for the first time since arriving. "What is this place? I'm amazed that no one is asking for Shelby Corcoran's autograph considering your latest accomplishments Queen Elsa." She lightly rubbed shoulders with her mother and smiled when Shelby squeezed her hand.

"It is shocking isn't it? I come here enough that barely anyone bats an eye when I walk in anymore. And the best thing about animation is that even if someone wanted my autograph, most people don't really pay attention to the face behind the character." When Rachel only laughed, Shelby searched desperately for something else to talk about to keep the focus off of the previous night. "I heard about New Directions being disbanded by Sue on Facebook. I'm sorry Rachel, I know how much glee meant to you."

"I heard about the page for past guests we had in class." Rachel smiled at Shelby. "I think we all knew it was a matter of time before Ms. Sylvester found a way to completely get rid of glee. And anyway, without me there, glee club was really lacking the talent that is needed to win." The two had made it to the front of the line, and Rachel hadn't even looked up at the menu. "I have no clue what I'm eating. What do you suggest I get?"

"The chipotle peach salad is really good. Or if you want a sandwich, the hummus vegan flatbread is delicious." Both women got their food and then sat back down to continue their conversation.

"So, Shelby, are you going to tell me why you called me last night? Twenty eight calls is a little excessive," Rachel asked after they finished eating, attempting to once again get Shelby to reveal her true intentions for their meeting on such short notice.

"We'll get there Rach. It's been months since I've heard about your life; humor me for just a bit longer. Who's this boy you're living with?" Shelby asked with a sly grin. She knew she was beginning to grasp at straws to prolong the inevitable conversation that prompted the panicked calls the previous night.

"His name's Elliott. He's in the band Kurt started. And before you ask why, Kurt, Santana, and I had a disagreement about Santana's role as my understudy. I mean, really? Santana playing Fanny Brice? It was a terrible idea from the beginning. And Santana decided to make my life hell. I couldn't trust her, so I said that one of us had to move out. And Kurt was siding with her, so I left."

"Rachel I don't think…" Shelby began, but Rachel shook her head and buried her face in her hands. Shelby immediately stopped speaking. She knew she was walking on the thin line that defined their relationship by trying to give advice about Rachel's personal life.

"I know, I over reacted, but I didn't know what else to do. I felt like I was back in high school where everyone was hoping for me to fail. I felt so alone, I had no one to go to, and I just had to get away from them." Rachel removed her hands, but left her head down.

"Oh Rachel," Shelby reached out and brushed her hand across Rachel's cheek, "you will always have me. I will always be cheering you on. And my door is always open, you can come over, call, or text anytime. Which by the way, we moved last week. Here's my new address." Shelby pulled out a small card and handed it to Rachel.

"Park Slope? That's not an apartment address, you bought a house?" Rachel sounded more surprised than Shelby expected.

"Well, yea. I figured that since I'm staying in New York, I might as well have a real place to call my own. A place that has room for you to visit, and it's in a great school district. And if you want, you can move in with us so that you're not living with a kid that you barely know." Shelby was rambling again, and Rachel could tell that they were grazing the surface of the true meaning of last night's call.

"Shelby, I don't know if moving in with you and Beth is the best idea, I mean in theory, it sounds amazing. But given our track record, do you think we would be able to live in the same house and stay sane? Is that why you called me last night?"

Shelby sighed and looked down at her hands. "Well, yes and no. I really would love it if you came and stayed with us, even if it is just for a few weeks. I think we could work things out. Rachel, I don't want us to appreciate each other from afar." Shelby looked up into her oldest daughter's eyes. "I know I've screwed up, and you don't really need me anymore, but I want to be there for you Rach. I always have. I'm just not the best at showing it, and I'm sorry."

Now it was Rachel's turn to look down. "I think trying again from the start might be a good idea, but I don't think I can call you 'mom' just yet." Shelby nodded; she was beginning to feel like she was cheating Rachel by having a true mother daughter moment only to deliver the biggest shock Rachel had ever heard. But, all Shelby could think of was how great it felt to have her oldest daughter's hand in hers with the promise of a new beginning. She could see a few tears falling down Rachel's cheek. "But Shelby, what do you mean by 'yes and no'? What else is going on?"

"Rachel, before we go any further, I need you to promise me you won't storm out. I couldn't tell you this before, but I called your fathers last week, and they agreed that it was time you knew everything." Rachel leaned back into her seat and pulled her hand away from Shelby's.

"Everything? There's more than just the contract and you breaking it to find me in high school?"

Shelby nodded and took a deep breath, "there was a second contract."

**I really, really like reviews! :) Let me know your thoughts! **

**-Janna**


	3. Chapter 3

**Alright, so this chapter is really short, but I'm already over halfway done with the fourth chapter. I did a lot of rearranging for this chapter, it was originally going to be the rest of Shelby and Rachel's conversation, but I couldn't figure out how to fit this part in anywhere else but here. Hopefully by next week I'll have chapter four up. **

Melanie hated airports, and airplanes, and traveling in general. She sighed and threw herself down into the chair at the gate for her flight to New York. "Mel, you may say you are nothing like your mother, but you certainly didn't get your dramatics from your grandfather or me, that attitude is all Shelby. If you are having second thoughts about this, you can stay in Akron with us. You don't have to go to New York." Mel didn't know how her grandmother could scold her like that without even looking up from her book.

"I know I don't have to go to New York, but it's only fair. She is my mother, and it won't hurt her to take responsibility for her kid. You and Papa have too much else to worry about. You don't need to be a chauffeur for a teenager too." Melanie looked down at her hands, and then added softly, "Maybe, I can make her like me again."

Helen pulled her granddaughter into her arms and felt her relax a bit. "Your mother loves you so much Melanie. Don't ever doubt that. I know things have been hard, but trust me, she loves you more than you'll ever know."

Melanie sighed and reluctantly pulled away from her grandmother. "Then why did she leave me? More than once. Each time she came back, I thought she meant it, but every time, it had something to do with Rachel. It's always Rachel. Why can't I ever be good enough for her Grama?"

"Oh Baby Girl, you are plenty good enough for your Mamma, she's just bad at showing just how much she loves and cares for you. And you very well know that her leaving has nothing to do with Rachel. And anyway, for the last few weeks, all you've talked about is meeting Rachel and getting to know her. Melanie, I know you're afraid, but your mom loves you so much, and I know that she really wants to make this work out. Just give her a chance. She might surprise you."

"I guess so." Melanie sighed and sat in silence until the intercom announcing their flight interrupted her thoughts.

"Hop up, Buttercup it's time to go see your Mamma."

"What if she doesn't want me anymore? What if she doesn't want to sing to me after what happened? That was always my favorite part of staying with her."

"She'll always sing to you. You might not always know it, but I'm sure, every night, she'll sing to you. You might already be asleep, but she can't stop singing to you. I know my daughter, and she'll be afraid to let you know how she feels. Just like you're afraid. The two of you are much more alike than you think." The pair made their way onto the plane and found their seats. They sat in comfortable silence and only once they were in the air did either move or speak.

After the announcement that electronics were allowed again, Melanie immediately pulled out her iPad and put her earbuds in. She pulled up her movie selection and tapped on the movie she had watched almost every day since it was available. Her grandmother looked at the tablet and smiled, "watching Frozen again? You know, if you wanna keep your little secret from you Mamma, you're gonna have to be careful where you watch her movies and YouTube videos. She might end up finding out just how much you love and miss her."

Melanie softly smiled and rolled her eyes. "There's no way she'd find out that I spend all my free time watching and listening to her movies and music. She's way too oblivious." 'And anyway, with Mom home with me, I might not need to watch her movies to feel close to her,' Melanie added to herself before she settled down in her seat for the two hour flight. In only a few short hours, she would be living with the mother who had no idea how to be a 'mom' to her two oldest daughters.

**As usual, please, please review! I love to read your thoughts, and I truly appreciate constructive criticism. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Once again, sorry this took so long. School is really beating me up right now, but after next week, I should have a bit more free time to write. Thank you all for your wonderful reviews! It is great getting to hear your thoughts.**

"_There was a second contract."_

Rachel pushed herself back in her chair. Sure, she promised she wouldn't storm out, but she wasn't expecting Shelby to say that. But, Rachel was older and more mature than she was in high school, she knew she should at least try to stay and hear Shelby out before walking out on their tentative relationship again.

Shelby sat in the uncomfortable silence willing Rachel to say something, anything really, to let her mother know that she wouldn't run away this time. When Shelby saw a stray tear flow from Rachel's eye, she knew that she had once again destroyed her daughter's world, and now it was time to try and put the pieces back together, for a fourth time. "How about I start from the beginning? I know we've talked through some of the events surrounding your birth, but there are parts I sugar-coated. I was trying to spare your feelings, Rach, but I think I only made things worse in the long run. Actually, I think I was trying to spare my feelings more than yours."

"Ya think?" Rachel bit back, hands shaking, she spoke softer, "Shelby how can I ever trust you if all you ever tell me is half-truth, half sugar-coating?"

"It stops now Rachel. From now on, I will always tell you the whole truth. You are old enough to make your own decisions, and I should've known that from the beginning. I'm sorry." Shelby looked into her daughter's eyes and silently pleaded for her to listen. After a slight nod from a stony Rachel, Shelby began. "In the beginning, there was no contract. When I met your fathers, I was so excited to be able to help them have the baby they dreamed of while helping me make it to New York. That all changed the second I felt you move. At that point, I knew that there was no way I could give you up, even then, you were my star."

"But you did. You left, you came here, you were fine without me."

Shelby shook her head and softly smiled, "I was definitely not fine. Your fathers noticed that I was beginning to second guess giving you up. They wanted you, and they didn't want me to give up on my dream of Broadway. They made that contract to protect both of us."

"But they hurt us both." Rachel reached out and put her hand on top of her mother's.

"They did what they thought was best Rachel. Could you honestly imagine growing up with a single, teenaged parent? My parents had nothing to do with me from the time I graduated high school and told them I was going to New York until three years after you were born. They would have never helped support us. Rachel, I had to let you go. Your fathers gave you a much better childhood than I ever could've ever given you." Rachel once again looked like she was going to interject, but Shelby shook her head and silenced her daughter. "That's beside the point of what I need to tell you anyway, and we have hashed this out so many times, it's like beating a dead horse every time Rach."

Rachel huffed and folded her arms across her chest. "Fine."

Shelby silently laughed at her daughter's antics. "Anyway, after you were born, your fathers helped me find a place here in New York. They wanted to make sure 'their' Shelby had the best of the best. Your fathers believed in me when my own family turned their backs on me. They really were more like family."

Rachel smiled, "I never knew that."

Shelby reached over and pushed some of Rachel's hair out of her face. "I suffered badly when I was here the first time. I was going through major bouts of depression and anxiety. Your fathers kept in contact, and I was on my way back to Ohio to celebrate your first birthday with you when I got the call about Rent."

Rachel was surprised, "You came and saw me when I was a baby? What happened? Why did you never come back after that?" Then it dawned on Rachel, Rent. If Shelby was busy here, she couldn't have come back to Ohio often enough to see her.

"I saw you three times when you were little actually. I'm getting there, just give me a minute." Shelby smiled sadly at the look on Rachel's face. "You and your fathers were at the gate when my plane landed, and I told them all about the call I had. They were happy to see me finally excited about something. I was coming out of that deep dark hell hole I had been in for the previous year. Then, Hiram handed you to me, and I knew I couldn't take the job in New York and still have you. That's why I started the Broadway daycare. If I couldn't be a single mother on Broadway, I knew other parents would have the same troubles."

"While that's very noble of you, I'm positive that's not what this second contract is about. Can you please get to the point Shelby?" Shelby winced. She knew Rachel would not accept her with open arms after this was all over, but she had hoped to at least get through her explanation before everything went to hell.

"Sorry. I'm getting there. There's a lot that happened before the contract was written that you need to know to understand everything that's going on now. I stayed with you in Lima for three days, and when your fathers dropped me off at the airport to head back to New York, Leroy pulled me aside and handed me another check. He said 'I don't want you worrying about Rachel; we'll take care of her. If you need anything call, but remember, we don't want to confuse Rachel.' I knew exactly what he was trying to say; yes your fathers were like family, but that in no way meant that you were any part of my family. It broke me to get back on that plane."

Rachel seemed confused. "You were following your dreams, what was so bad about that? I mean, I would've been happy if you stayed, but you never would've been happy in Lima when New York has called you since you were little." This was a feeling Rachel understood, the call of New York may just have been another example of just how alike the two women were.

"After you were born I had a new dream, I wanted to be a mother, more importantly, your mother. But after I left Ohio the second time, I realized I wasn't going to get what I wanted this time. I went through the workshop for Rent on autopilot. I wasn't really giving it my all, until one day, Hiriam called. He knew, somehow, he always knew when something was wrong. He knocked sense into me. He told me that even though I couldn't see you, one day, you'd come to me and he wanted you to be able to be proud of who your mother was. He never wanted you to see me as weak."

"I could never see you as weak Shelby, even if you never made it on Broadway, I'd still look up to your strength and determination, but I still wouldn't want you to give up Broadway." Rachel protested.

"I know that now, but then, I was just a little older than you are now. The seventeen years I still had to wait for you seemed like an eternity. So, I took your father's advice and put everything I had into the show. It paid off, the show was great, and it kept my mind off things for a while. I made some friends in the show, Cassie, especially. We've been great friends ever since. She's actually the only friend from New York that I've ever told about you. Besides my sister, she's the only real friend I've ever had."

"Wait, Cassie, as in Crazy July? You're friends with Ms. July? She tortured me in dance last semester! The only reason we get along now is because of Funny Girl. I was able to finally prove myself to her." Rachel sounded hurt.

"Cass was only hard on you because she knew you'd make it. She would talk to you about me and ask me questions about you. She wanted to help you be the best you can be." Shelby reached for Rachel's hand and was surprised when the girl pulled away quickly.

"No. You've spent so much time meddling in my life, when you could've just been there. I'm out. Goodbye Shelby" Rachel started to stand, but then thought better of it, there was more going on here than just her mother being friends with her crazy dance teacher from NYADA. Curiosity got the better of Rachel, and she sat back down. "Never mind. I'm sure that's not all you've screwed up and lied to me about. Can we please just continue on to that stupid second contract?"

"We're getting close. When I won the Tony in 1996 for Rent, the first thing I wanted to do was see you, but I knew it wouldn't happen. I set my last show date for the beginning of July '97, and I decided to go back to school. I went back to Ohio and enrolled in classes to become an English teacher. I fell off the face of the planet according to most people. I didn't do anything but go to class and come home. Your fathers noticed, and after my first semester, they called." Shelby paused and took a long drink of her coffee. This was where her story was going to get tough. She could almost predict step for step, word for word how Rachel would react, and there was no going back. "When I answered, I was afraid something had happened to you. Your fathers assured me that you were fine, but they said they wanted to meet with me while I was still on Winter break. We agreed to meet on one condition: you had to be there."

"I would've been three, right?" Rachel wished she could remember something from that meeting, but nothing came to her.

"You were, and you were the sweetest girl I had ever laid eyes on." Shelby smiled at the memory. "We all sat down at the kitchen table and caught up at first, and then your fathers got down to business. They had an idea to try and help me. They offered me what I gave them, a chance to have a child of my own using the same methods we used for you. They said I could have another baby, a child that would be completely mine."

"You did it didn't you? You had another baby? I have a sibling? Where at?" Rachel bombarded Shelby with questions.

"Slow down Rach. I did." Shelby looked down at her hands and played with the ring on her finger, a nervous habit. "It took me five months to decide if that was what I truly wanted, and it took until July 1998 for everything to be prepared. Your fathers and I drew up another contract, this one saying that you and your sibling couldn't know until he or she was eighteen and that your fathers couldn't contact her or him. I stayed with you and your fathers for a week while the procedure was taking place." Shelby looked up into Rachel's eyes again. "It was killing me, being there with you, spending time with you, while knowing the goal of the week was to replace you. I couldn't have you, so I was settling for the next best thing, your sibling. I didn't regret it until the last night I was at your house. Before you went to bed, you came and hugged me. You whispered in my ear, I think so your Dads wouldn't hear you. You said 'if I had a mommy, she'd be just like you.' I spent the rest of the night crying in your dads' arms. You had no idea how much what you said killed me inside. I left the next morning before you woke up."

This Rachel vaguely remembered. "I was sad when the pretty lady staying with us didn't say bye. I remember that. It was you?"

Shelby was startled, "you remember?" Rachel nodded and looked down. "Rachel, you have to know how sorry I am."

Rachel interrupted her. "Forget it Shelby. We can't go back and change the past. Can we just get this over with? I still can't decide if I'm gonna humor you and not storm out of here, and the longer you take, the easier it's gonna be for me to walk out."

"My second pregnancy was complete hell. With you, everything seemed so easy. But with your sister, I was so sick." Rachel wanted so badly to interrupt her mother again to ask why she couldn't just get to the point. She understood that the older woman had screwed over another child by abandoning her younger sister. But Rachel just wanted to know more about the sister she never had the chance to grow up with. "Melanie was born April 14, 1999, and she reminded me so much of you.

Rachel couldn't keep quiet any longer "where is she?"

"She's been living with my parents in Akron for about nine years." Shelby felt like she was being chastised by her daughter. She knew she would have to do a lot of talking to get out of the mess she created for herself. "I finished getting my teaching degree after she was born, and then I taught at Carmel for a few years. That's when I started Vocal Adrenaline. It was fun, taking Melanie with me to rehearsals and competitions was rough, but she loved going, and during the day, my mom watched her. A few years into teaching, I started getting calls from my old agent about a new musical that fit me perfectly. At first, I just blew him off, but after he sent me a rough draft of the script, I fell in love with the story. My mom took Melanie for a weekend, and I went to New York and auditioned. After I was home for a few weeks, I got the call from the director. The part was mine if I wanted it." Shelby took a deep breath and looked at Rachel for a reaction. Seeing the hard, tense look on Rachel's face, she continued. "I spent a good week trying to figure out how to make ends meet if I took the part. I worked with the director, and he was willing to allow Melanie to be with me as long as there was always someone to watch over her and keep her out of trouble. After my success in Rent, they wanted my name attached to Wicked. They were willing to do whatever I wanted them to. I 'hired' Cass to help me, on the theatre's budget, and I took the part."

"Were you and Cassandra a thing?" Rachel suddenly asked, feeling awkward asking her mother such a blunt question.

Shelby just looked at Rachel, dumbstruck. "Oh god no! Yuck, me and Cass? No way! She's more like my sister, and I happen to be interested in men only, the thought of me and Cassie?" Shelby shivered and another look of disgust crossed her face, "no, definitely not."

Rachel backpedaled, "I didn't mean it in a bad way Shelby, you know, I do have two dads."

"And your fathers are great men." Shelby smiled and then continued with her story. "We moved to New York mid-July 2002. Melanie loved being a Broadway baby, even at three years old; she was bitten by the bug. Every morning, she would wake me up asking when we were heading to the studio. Things were going great. After we'd been running the show for about a year, Cassandra was offered to audition as Lola in Damn Yankees. I told her she couldn't pass up the opportunity, Mel was four at the time, and I was sure that we could work out some way for her to stay with me even if Cassie couldn't watch her anymore."

"Well we all know how that turned out. Crazy July got the part, left you and my sister to fend for yourselves, and then went insane at a performance. Great role model she is." Rachel bit back.

Shelby glared and raised her voice slightly. "Rachel, you have no clue about what was going on behind the scenes. Two days before that night, I had gotten back from Ohio. I had to leave Melanie there with my parents. Some days, Melanie was the only thing keeping Cassie from drinking into oblivion. Melanie being gone was killing all three of us."

"Then why did you leave her?" Rachel interrupted.

"I had no choice. I couldn't find anyone to replace Cassie that Melanie liked. It ended up being members of the stage crew watching her, and everything backstage was a mess. We were able to make ends meet until one night Melanie decided to run off and hide under the trap door that I 'melted' into. No one could find her until I went down there. After that, the director said she couldn't be at the theatre anymore." The memory of that night still haunted Shelby.

"So you chose your career over being a real mom?" Rachel leaned back in her seat and folded her arms.

"It wasn't like that Rachel; I couldn't get out of my contract for Wicked, and after that, when I got the call for the Rent movie, I had to take it. And then I got invited to the West End to play Elphaba for a few months. I had talked to my mom, and she thought I should go through with the offers and then move back to Akron."

Rachel's silence bothered Shelby. In a soft voice, Shelby coaxed her. "Rach, please tell me what you're thinking."

"I can't do this right now Shelby, you've gone too far. I can't believe that you'd do this to me and another kid. And then you decided neither of us was good enough, and you went and adopted Beth! Are you gonna get tired of her too? Get rid of her when it's inconvenient? What about when you get another movie offer? " Rachel stood up and turned so quickly that Shelby barely had time to react.

As Rachel grabbed her purse and started towards the door, Shelby moved so quickly she even surprised herself. She grabbed onto Rachel's upper arm, pulled her back and flipped her around. With a cold look in her eyes, Shelby whispered, "I invented that storm out little girl, and you best sit your ass down and listen to what I have to say."

Rachel's jaw dropped. She had never heard Shelby use that tone, not even with the Vocal Adrenaline kids. She allowed Shelby to lead her back to their table and sat down when Shelby lightly pushed on her shoulder. "Sorry," Rachel whispered.

Shelby sighed and kneeled beside Rachel's chair. "No Rachel, I'm sorry. I shouldn't've grabbed you like that. Let me look at your arm." Shelby tenderly reached out and slipped the sleeve of Rachel's t-shirt up to assess the damage her forceful grip had caused. There were already red marks where Shelby's fingers had been, and she slapped herself on the forehead. "Gosh Rachel, all I do is screw up. I'm not fit to be a parent. Look at what I did to you." Shelby leaned back on her heels and put her head in her hands.

Rachel wasn't sure what to say. That was the first time her mother had even been close to parenting her. On one hand, she wanted to let Shelby know just how horrible of a person she was for trying to parent her adult daughter, but on the other, she wanted to know more about her sister, and she still desperately wanted Shelby to be her mom, even after the bomb of another contract was dropped so suddenly.

**It took me most of the last week to decide if I wanted to end this chapter here or not. This is about half of what I have written for Shelby and Rachel's conversation, and I still need to put a lot of finishing touches on the other half. I just wanted to get this part updated so no one thought I quit writing! Hope you are all enjoying Spring!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you all for the great reviews. This story has been a welcome distraction from studying for finals! I'll work on getting the next chapter up soon, but I'm moving back home for the summer this weekend, so it might be a bit longer of a wait. **

After what seemed like hours to Shelby, Rachel spoke. "Please, Shelby, just tell me whatever it is you came here to tell me." Rachel was getting fed up with Shelby trying to prolong their meeting by distracting her from the matter at hand.

"Rachel, are you sure?"

"Yes, I just want to get this behind us. Please."

"After I came back from London, I realized that I had no clue who my daughter was. She had just turned seven, and I had missed most of the last few years of her life. It took a lot of adjusting, and we rented a house a few blocks from my parents. I was offered my old job at Carmel starting that fall, and that allowed for about four months of free time to give Melanie my undivided attention. Everything went great until I started to get sick in June. I finally went to the doctor a few weeks later, and I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer."

Rachel's face fell. "Oh Shelby, I'm so sorry, I didn't know…"

Shelby softly smiled at her daughter, trying to reassure her. "I'm fine now Rach, the treatment worked. I can't have another baby, but I think with the three I have already, I'm going to have my hands full for a long time." She took a chance and reached for Rachel's hand. Rachel looked down but didn't break the contact. "We had to move back in with my parents. The rest of the summer was spent in and out of the hospital, and I think it scared Melaine. She would come with me to chemo each week, and when we found out that treatment wasn't working, she locked herself in her room and wouldn't talk to me for a week."

"But it wasn't your fault you were sick."

"I know that. She was scared, but we both got better. I kept my job at Carmel, but I hired an assistant director for VA. Before school started up, I had surgery to hopefully remove the cancer. I went back a few weeks after school started, and it worked. I've been cancer free for almost eight years. But, the damage was done. Yes, Melanie got over it, but our relationship was strained at best. She was afraid I was going to leave again, and no matter how much I reassured her, she didn't trust me. I could see how great her relationship with my parents was, and I was too afraid to do anything about it. She still spent time with me granted, but it wasn't the same. She came with me to every VA function, but she wasn't the bubbly little girl she was before. We stayed living with my parents for about six more months just to help me get back on my feet, and by then, Melanie and I were doing better. She stayed with my parents during the week and with me on weekends."

"Ok, so what does all of this have to do with why you're just telling me now?" Shelby could tell Rachel was getting impatient, but if she wanted her daughter to truly trust her, she had to tell her everything without skipping any important detail.

"I was a great coach, but at times, I had a hard time distinguishing between coaching and parenting. I was hard on the VA kids, which you know, but sometimes I think that put too much on your sister. I did my best with her, and we were managing. Things became pretty normal after that, that is, until the first time I saw you perform. Melanie was with me at your sectionals, and she knew something was up when she looked at my face as you began singing. On our way home, I was crying, and she must've figured it out because all she said was that you and I looked too much alike to not be related. I told her everything that night, and she and I looked you up online. Each week, we would look for more videos of you singing. She's been obsessed with you ever since. You know most of what has happened since. I sent Jesse to get to know you, and that ended up hurting you more than anything else. For that I'm sorry. When you broke into my rehearsal and finally knew, I was so excited for the two of you to meet. I was completely ready to bring you into our family that night Rach, but you know how much I screwed that up. I should have never listened to Will."

"Will? What's Mr. Schue got to do with anything?" Rachel interrupted.

"I ran into him shortly after sectionals, and he told me that you were perfectly happy with the way your life already was and I was going to confuse you." Shelby noticed the look in Rachel's eyes, and stopped her before she said anything. "What's done is done Rachel, and Will only had your best interests in mind. Don't be angry with him."

"But you're saying that you always wanted me? Mr. Schue had no right!" Rachel reached into her purse and pulled out her cell phone, fully prepared to text her old glee teacher and give him a piece of her mind, but Shelby stopped her by placing a hand on top of her daughter's hand.

"Rach, really, we can't go back and change anything, but we control what happens now. But to do that, we need to be completely transparent. I need to tell you everything. I'm almost finished. Would you like me to continue, or is this too much for you?" Shelby was sincerely concerned for her daughter. She had received an immense amount of new information about her mother's past, and Shelby wasn't sure if she could handle much more.

But, Rachel knew that this meeting was like ripping off a Band-Aid. It needed to be done, and putting it off any longer would just make it hurt worse. In almost a whisper, Rachel spoke, "Please keep going, I want, no, I need to know."

Shelby squeezed Rachel's hand and nodded "When Melanie found out what I did to you, she wouldn't speak to me for a week. And let me tell you, for a ten year old, she could hold a grudge. She was still coming with me to VA rehearsals, but she wasn't nearly as excited to be there, and after I adopted Beth, things got worse."

Rachel's gaze hardened. The subject of Beth was touchy, and Rachel still didn't understand Shelby's motives in adopting the girl. "Why did you adopt Beth?"

"Can we save that for another time, Rach?" After seeing the frustrated look she received from Rachel for that comment, she tried to explain herself. "It's not that I don't want to tell you, but I just really need to get all this off my chest. I'm trying Rachel, please. I know adopting Beth hurt you, and Melanie for that matter, and I promise I'll tell you about my reasoning later."

Rachel couldn't see how adopting another child didn't matter, but she knew if she wanted to have any sort of relationship with the woman sitting across from her, there would need to be some give and take. She could tell her mother was trying, so she nodded her head. "As long as there's a later. I think it's something we need to clear up."

"There will be a later, I promise." Shelby smiled when she saw the hint of a grin on her daughter's face. "A few days before nationals, during a break in rehearsals, I pulled her aside and asked if she still wanted to come with me to the competition. I was thinking she wouldn't want to spend that much time with me, so I offered her an out, and she completely lost it. She threw the biggest temper tantrum VA had ever seen, and I had no idea what set her off. All I could even make out of her rant was that 'theatre and glee were stupid.' Since then, I've let her be. She never came to another VA rehearsal, and I don't speak of any type of music when she's in the room. But, if you come up in any of our conversations, she always tells me that she's been watching your videos still. You're the only reason she has any connection with theatre anymore."

Rachel looked confused. "So you said she loved Broadway when she was little, but she doesn't anymore? How is that possible?"

Shelby laughed. "She's not like us Rach. I don't know how to explain it 'cause I don't even understand it myself. That's why I quit coaching VA. I had hoped that if I spent more time with her, things would get better. I also hoped that with me out of your way, you would have an easier time adjusting. I was wrong on both counts. Mel was pissed that I quit. She convinced me to go back to coaching when I came to McKinley your senior year. I wanted to fix things with the both of you so badly, and I thought starting with you was the best idea. We both know that I fucked up again. When I decided to move here, I gave Melanie the choice; come with me or stay with my parents. I should've known a choice was pointless. I'm not the parent she needs."

"But you're the parent she wants, can't you see that Shelby?" Rachel asked, more about herself than her sister, but she was pretty sure that Melanie would agree to the sentiments. Even though they had never met, Rachel figured that they would agree on that.

Shelby shook her head. "No one could want me. I've screwed up so much with you and her. I'm pretty sure I'll mess Beth up just as much."

"There's still time to fix things Shelby." Rachel whispered, but she didn't think Shelby heard her.

Shelby hoped that Rachel meant she had time not only with her younger daughters, but her eldest as well. She decided to ignore the comment though. "The last time I saw her was last winter. We were at your Winter Showcase. My parents flew in, and we had family time at my sister's in Newark. Claire, my sister, said something about you being in the showcase when Melanie was in the room, and once she heard about it, she refused to speak to anyone until I promised her I'd take her to watch you." Shelby pulled out her phone and brought up a picture of Rachel and Melanie together. "After you won, Melanie was insistent on meeting you, but I made her agree to not let on that she knew you. She and my sister went and talked to you while I stayed with my parents in the main lobby." Shelby handed over the phone and smiled when she saw Rachel's reaction.

"She's the first person who ever asked me for my autograph." She looked closer at the picture, and could see similarities between her and the younger girl, but the photo wasn't clear enough to make out any small details.

"She idolizes you, Rach." Shelby looked down at her hands.

Rachel tried to hide her smile. She was happy that the girl she never met looked up to her, but she knew what her mother needed to hear. "She should idolize her mom."

Shelby looked down, and Rachel could tell that she was trying to keep her tears from falling. "Melanie hates me. I destroyed my relationship with her the second I left her in Akron so I could continue Wicked. I love that little girl so much, but she hasn't loved me since the moment I stepped foot out of the door ten years ago. I've become a calloused, has been, bitch that can barely coach anymore. I haven't been a parent for a long time, even with Beth, it's a struggle. And now, for some reason, Mel's decided that she wants to move here and live with me. My dad's sick, and a few weeks ago, Melanie called me and asked if she could live with me to lessen the stress on my parents. It's the first time since I moved back to New York that she's contacted me first. I always have to go visit her, or call my parents to get ahold of her. She and my mom are flying in this afternoon, and I have no idea how to be a mother. I'm barely Beth's mother as it is. How can I parent a teenager?" Shelby turned away from Rachel and ran her hands under her eyes, hoping Rachel would not see the tears, but she had no such luck. Rachel reached out and squeezed Shelby's hand. "I couldn't even be there for you when you needed me. You should hate me too."

Rachel sighed; she couldn't believe that after everything Shelby put her through, she was thinking about offering to help the woman fix her relationship with her middle child, Rachel's sister. Rachel wasn't even sure what sort of hope she could offer, but she knew she had to try. For some reason, she was finally feeling the connection to her mother she longed for in high school. "Shelby, we can't hate you. We're hurt, yes, but no girl can truly hate her mother." Rachel swallowed; the next thing she had to say to her mother was going to be hard. It would be the start of breaking down the walls she had so carefully constructed around her heart, but before she went to bed the night before, she promised herself that she would let Shelby know just what she'd always wanted. "I've always known I was different; a girl with two dads and no mother to speak of is reminded pretty much every day from the first day of preschool that everyone has a mom and she doesn't. I never told my dads, but I dreamed of meeting you. All the time. I would see a woman with dark hair at the park, and I would imagine she was there with me. The summer after I turned nine, my dads and I made our first family trip to New York."

Shelby finally looked back at Rachel, and both women had tears in their eyes. Shelby had a feeling she knew what was coming next. She hoped that the girl's fathers had at least let her baby see the show that meant so much to Shelby. "My dads took me to see one musical, and they let me pick which one. I don't think they expected me to pick Wicked. They kept pointing out Lion King, but my mind was set. I wanted to see the green witch. I'd seen other shows before, but, I knew, the moment I heard you sing, I belonged on Broadway. I looked through the playbill and saw your picture and read that you were from Ohio. From that moment on, the mom in all my fantasies was you."

Shelby's tears were falling freely now. "Rachel." She pushed out of her chair and pulled her daughter into her arms. "Oh Rachel honey, I love you. I never meant to hurt either of you. Melanie helped me heal, but she was never going to be able to replace you, but at first, I think I expected her to. Just like Beth can never replace you or Melanie. You are all three my daughters, and I'll never be able to fill the empty spaces I've created in my heart with another person. Those places are reserved for you and only you. Rachel, I know I've hurt you so much in the past, but you know absolutely everything now, I promise."

"I want to start over Shelby, but I'm still not sure how." Suddenly, an idea began to form in Rachel's mind. What if they all started over? As a whole family, Shelby, Rachel, Melanie, and Beth? She wasn't sure if it would work, but she was willing to try. "When do you have to go pick up my sister?" Saying those words out loud felt so foreign but natural at the same time.

Shelby glanced down at her watch and frowned. She had lost track of time, and now she was very likely going to be late getting to the airport to pick up her mother and daughter. She sighed. "Crap, right now. Rach, I know this was a lot to drop on you at once, and I know you're going to need some time to process everything. I would love to stay with you longer, but I have to go pick up Beth from daycare and get to the airport before Melanie's plane lands. My mother will really let me have it if I'm late to pick them up. Could we maybe meet next week sometime to talk some more? I wanna make sure you're doing alright."

"Actually, can I come with you to the ariport?" Rachel asked in a small voice.

"Don't you have rehearsal today?" Shelby finally pulled away from Rachel and turned to put on her jacket and grab her purse.

Rachel mimicked her mother and had her things ready as well. "Not until five, and I can call Rupert and be late. I've not missed a rehearsal yet, and I think this is a good reason to be in late. I want to meet her."

"Ok, are you sure? Rehearsals are very important Rachel. Especially since you are the lead." Shelby instinctively placed her hand on Rachel's back, guiding her toward the door.

Rachel resisted the urge to roll her eyes. If she wanted her idea to work, she had to be careful not to push her mother away. "I'm positive Shelby. We're only blocking tonight, which seems stupid to me since we're opening next month, and we should all know where to be by now. Tonight is more for the ensemble that hasn't been with us since the first rehearsal anyway."

Shelby lightly laughed. "Alright, just don't make this a habit. Let's go." The pair made their way out of the small coffee shop and headed to Shelby's Range Rover. Both were nervous. Rachel for meeting not only her sister, but she had just realized she would be meeting her grandmother as well. Shelby was afraid of having two teenagers in her life; she had hurt both girls deeply, and she knew she needed to do whatever she could to repair the damage she had done.

**Thank you so much to w1cked and Ellybelly07 for your great reviews on every chapter! And thanks to everyone who has given guest reviews and signed reviews, I love hearing from you!**


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